If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
