Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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