wanna go halves on a baby?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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