You just made me feel so damn special
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
