awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
