I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
