I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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