Whod you bang
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
