I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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