I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
