If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
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All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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