WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
