It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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