Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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