i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
