Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
