She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
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I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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