clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
