oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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