id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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