evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
