She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize
