My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
