I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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