how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
