so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
