and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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