My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize