Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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