Say something about gay babies.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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