I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
