I want to make a zoo with you.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
