I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
