You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
