i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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