i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
