the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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