Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I just shit out all my problems.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
