i need an iv and a liver transplant
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
