I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
