Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
