I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
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Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
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Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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