I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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