went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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