I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
