a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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