Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
