I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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