Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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