ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize