We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I forget how to act sober
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
