the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have fence marks all over my body
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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