spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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