I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
