oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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