so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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