Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
