Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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