Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize