I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
